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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637329">If Only...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007'>LiraelClayr007</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, M/M, Pining, Poetry, Regret, Sharing a Bed, The Fanfic Gap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:54:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637329</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If only he hadn't had to kick Cas out of the bunker.</p>
<p>If only it could always be like this.</p>
<p>If only he didn't have to say goodbye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If Only...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Come on, “Steve.”<br/>Let’s get something to eat.</i><br/>Dean laughs at his own joke.</p>
<p>Cas looks out the window,<br/>at his hands,<br/>at the door handle.<br/>Anywhere but at Dean.</p>
<p><i>I don’t have any money,</i><br/>he mumbles.</p>
<p>
  <i>Hey, buddy.<br/>It’s on me.</i>
</p>
<p>Because Dean can’t say<br/>goodbye.<br/>Not again.<br/>Not yet.</p>
<p>So they each have<br/>a cheeseburger and<br/>a basket of fries and<br/>one beer<br/>(they stop at one<br/>because Cas is too new<br/>to this whole human<br/>thing).</p>
<p>And Cas<br/>smiles<br/>and Dean<br/>smiles back<br/>and it feels<br/>good and<br/>right.</p>
<p>Back in the car<br/>Cas says,<br/><i>You can just drop me<br/>at the Gas-N-Sip.</i></p>
<p>The silence is<br/>awkward.</p>
<p>Then,<br/><i>You can sleep in a bed<br/>for one night, Cas.<br/>Let me–</i><br/>he clears his throat,<br/>tries again.<br/><i>Let me at least<br/>do that.</i></p>
<p>He won’t look<br/>at Dean, but<br/>Cas nods.</p>
<p>The motel room is<br/>small, and Cas<br/>flinches<br/>when he sees<br/>there is only one<br/>bed.<br/>He gestures feebly at the<br/>floor, but Dean<br/>shakes his head.<br/>An insistent no.<br/><i>I promised you a bed.<br/>It’s big enough<br/>for two.</i></p>
<p>When Cas comes out<br/>of the bathroom,<br/>wearing boxers and<br/>one of Dean’s t-shirts,<br/>hair dripping and tousled,<br/>Dean momentarily thinks<br/>the bed might not<br/>be big enough<br/>for two<br/>after all.</p>
<p>When Dean<br/>gets out of the shower,<br/>Cas is in bed.<br/>Curled on his side,<br/>facing the wall,<br/>vulnerable.<br/>Not asleep. Dean<br/>can see tension<br/>in every muscle.<br/>He steals under the<br/>covers, hesitantly<br/>rests a hand on<br/>Cas’s arm.</p>
<p>He thinks<br/>he hears Cas’s<br/>breath hitch.</p>
<p>
  <i>Just sleep.<br/>You’re safe here.</i>
</p>
<p>It takes a while,<br/>over an hour,<br/>but the tension<br/>eventually<br/>slips<br/>away,<br/>the breaths<br/>even<br/>out.</p>
<p>He sleeps.</p>
<p>Dean doesn’t sleep.<br/>He has<br/>forever<br/>to sleep.<br/>But in the morning<br/>he has to say<br/>goodbye<br/>to Cas.</p>
<p>So he<br/>watches.<br/>And he<br/>breathes.<br/>And he<br/>wishes<br/>nights<br/>could<br/>always<br/>be<br/>like<br/>this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For the first ever round of the Supernatural Prompt Challenge!</p>
<p>Prompt: <b>A missing scene from canon you would like to see.</b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks, Vanessa, for being so awesome and encouraging and an all-around great friend. And for helping me choose a title!! ;)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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